your thong is hanging out like whoa
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
