I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize