dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
