Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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