I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
