Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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