Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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