You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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