It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize