I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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