after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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