I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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