dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I just put wine in my tea
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
