My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
