My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
