I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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