I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize