We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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