I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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