I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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