dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
