Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
