I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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