So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize