no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
