You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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