i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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