I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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