when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
only if we run a train.
done.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can I color on your dick again?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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