my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
