Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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