:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
