I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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