Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
