I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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