a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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