I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
