He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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