i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
