He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
