You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
