Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
