Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
