All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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