He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
