Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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