This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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