I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
