Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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