And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
NoShamevember. You game?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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