"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
