Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
