Your dad touched me again.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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