Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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