are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize