seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
