I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
