You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
