No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
