There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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