ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
