fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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