how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
