I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
