It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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