You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
