so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.