She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
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okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.