Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.