I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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