Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You drinking a lot?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  No.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Define a lot

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  (850): You drinking a lot? (1-850): No. (1-850): Define a lot http://tfl.nu/heqj
  Replies (15) Good night (3061) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.

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  (626): Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/kgjr
  Replies (16) Good night (4420) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.

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  (805): all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl. http://tfl.nu/c5of
  Replies (14) Good night (946) Bad night (4098)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.

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  (315): Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise. http://tfl.nu/jq04
  Replies (8) Good night (4503) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.

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  (804): Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures. http://tfl.nu/ds3n
  Replies (3) Good night (3339) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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  (317): Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day. http://tfl.nu/olid
  Replies (23) Good night (4835) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.

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  (612): rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/9ytt
  Replies (12) Good night (1359) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.

  (1-805): View more from California

  watch me

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  (805): You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard. (1-805): watch me http://tfl.nu/8h24
  Replies (16) Good night (3814) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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  (423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw
  Replies (8) Good night (1716) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

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  (512): Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick. http://tfl.nu/ysyl
  Replies (12) Good night (623) Bad night (3367)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

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  (714): You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying http://tfl.nu/xa50
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (2140)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.

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  (814): She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow. http://tfl.nu/dddh
  Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.

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  (303): You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out. http://tfl.nu/5jzq
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you

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  (425): YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you http://tfl.nu/ds9i
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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  (732): you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol http://tfl.nu/3eay
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (289)

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